Man oh Man!

These progesterone shots are NO joke!  I have only done a few and my back is bruised and hurting already. To say I want to do them for a few months more would be a lie,  but doing them for 8-10 weeks more means we are pregnant and that I want more than words can say.

Our first night of them Ryan put on the numbing cream and put the bandage over,  we waited the hour and when 7:00pm came (the time I need to take my shot)  he took off the bandage and did the tester with a safety pin to make sure I didn't feel anything.   Well guess what.....I DID!  I felt everything and I started to panic!   A crying fit ensued with my sobbing and saying I can't do this for 3 months over and over for about 15 minutes.

Just in case anyone is wondering why I was scared....Here is the needle and the 2ml of oil...

Yes it's big and yes that's alot of oil! NIGHTLY people NIGHTLY...

Anyways,  we decided to put more cream on and let it sit for another 30 minutes and thank goodness it worked!  I was a hour late taking my shot but it was worth it.

It has worked since then, so I am hoping it was a fluke thing.  I have gotten pretty good at getting my blood taken and taking the little needles with no stress and no pain other than a pinch,  but I draw the line at the big guns.  How people do them with no numbness I have no idea.

THIS JUST IN....

4 more days till transfer!!!

In other news, Ryan is still sick, not as sick but his cold is pretty bad.   He has taken up shop in the front room for sleeping and as much as I miss him, it's been kind of awesome to sleep in the middle of our king bed for a few nights.   We are hoping he can come back tomorrow night, but if his cold doesn't get better he will be in the front room until the transfer at least.

Never thought I would spend my anniversary night not even sleeping in the same bed as my husband,  no kiss, no hug, no touching. nothing. It was super sad.  He did buy me beautiful flowers and gave me the sweetest card.  Our plans for going out to dinner were scrapped and so I picked up Shrimp Taco Tuesday Cafe Rio and we ate on opposite ends of the table watching Shark Week and then he went back to sleep.   So romantic I know,  but we just need to remember we did it for the sake of our baby.  We have waited months for this and a cold is not going to ruin everything!

Thank goodness two weeks ago Ryan surprised me and took me to the Venetian for a early anniversary date.   He took me to Delmonico's (Emeril's steakhouse) and it was amazing.   Ryan ordered the rib eye  when it came out it looked like this:

Yeah 22 ounces of meat!  He gave it a good college try but he did not finish :)

We also took a gondola ride and just walked around.  It was a great night!

So why our household is full of sickness, and hormonal mess crying right now,  we just need to remember we always have the Venetian :)





I am slacking...

It is so much easier if I updated weekly or close to so I don't forget what we have done.  Since it has been a few weeks I know their has been some swimming,  some dinner's with friends.   A early anniversary date with my honey and a celebration dinner with my brothers.

But life is busy and I have no time to post pictures or anything right now.

I am mainly posting to document we have exactly one week to go,  we went to the doctor's this morning and everything looks great.  I start my new shots tomorrow (not looking forward to that,  it's the big needle and on my anniversary too!),  our embryo's are thawed on Wednesday and this weekend we will have a better understanding of how they are looking and which ones we will implant.

Next week when I am home on bed rest I will catch up and post pictures of recent fun times. In between reading the book I have been saving on my kindle, and watching the 2nd season of Downton Abbey,  the 1st season of Friday night lights and The Hunger Games :)

Before I go,  a shout out to my love tomorrow is our 2nd anniversary!!  We have no plans because my shot has to be done right at dinner time so we will probably order in and then Ryan will go study.  So lame I know, but life is crazy right now. 

I have loved everyday of the last two years.   He is my rock!!

From our 2nd or 3rd date (a scavenger hunt!)

20 days...

We officially have 20 days to go until our transfer,  I cannot wait !!

  I did my last retrieval at the end of June and this last month has been torture for us.  The waiting is the worst part  for me (well except for the big needle in your back end lol).   Ryan, as always remains the calm energy in our house,  he keeps me balanced and tries to curb my freak outs.   He puts up with my million questions of what if this happens, or what if this doesn't happen with simple encouraging answers and generally keeps me sane.

I had a friend who is pregnant and has experienced bad morning sickness call me the other day,  she was asking if I had seen a movie out about what to expect when you are expecting,  I told her I hadn't and she gave me a little synopsis about how one woman had a horrible pregnancy and delivery and the other had a great pregnancy and delivery.  I know she was joking but she told me that I am going to be like that woman who had the perfect pregnancy and she is going to be mad because she is so sick.   I sort of laughed and then said "well if I am lucky enough to have a great pregnancy and delivery with no sickness then I deserve every bit of it,  no offense but I will trade you three months of sickness and a $20 movie night and action after with your hubby to get your baby rather than months of trying with rejection, lots of doctors offices, shots,  taking all the romance out of it and more money than I would like to admit we have spent to get mine"  It wasn't the nicest thing for me to say, but it's how I felt at the time. 

I have another friend who understands what we are going through,  her and her husband had to do IVF and were successful and are expecting a little boy in October.   She was at our house two weekends ago and we were talking about how many pregnancy tests we have taken and just seen rejection after rejection,   she said she is tempted to go pee on a stick now just to see it show a positive.   We laughed and then were talking about how from the time of your transfer to getting your blood test marks that give a good indication that we had heard that you can actually take a pregnancy test around day 6, 7 and find out.   She didn't do it and I won't either because neither of us have ever had a good outcome of a pregnancy test and so to take one is a completely negative thing to us,  something we dread, not look forward to.   So she stuck it out the 10 or so days until the doctor's office confirmed it and I will too!

So as you can see my mood swings go up and down,  I blame the hormones. I am feeling scared but good about it,  we are going to the temple this weekend for our friend's sealing and plan to do a session beforehand to spend some time together praying for us and our families.

In other Stewart news,  not much is going on.  Ryan is back to studying all the time so after dinner we don't see each other much on the weekdays.  :(

I got this lovely sunburn because I am a idiot and forget I am a vampire allergic to the sun and burn easily...

And our house is filled with Olympic fever,   it's pretty much on 24-7 right now.   I LOVE the Olympics,  especially the swimming since I swam competitively for years.  I'm so excited for Missy Franklin, to be 17 and be so good and to pass up endorsements because she wants to swim for a college is amazing.  I'm on Team Lochte,  his name is Ryan Steven just like my babe's and he is hot just like my babe so what is not to like :)

Oh and I am still praying for twins and Ryan is still not...