20 days...

We officially have 20 days to go until our transfer,  I cannot wait !!

  I did my last retrieval at the end of June and this last month has been torture for us.  The waiting is the worst part  for me (well except for the big needle in your back end lol).   Ryan, as always remains the calm energy in our house,  he keeps me balanced and tries to curb my freak outs.   He puts up with my million questions of what if this happens, or what if this doesn't happen with simple encouraging answers and generally keeps me sane.

I had a friend who is pregnant and has experienced bad morning sickness call me the other day,  she was asking if I had seen a movie out about what to expect when you are expecting,  I told her I hadn't and she gave me a little synopsis about how one woman had a horrible pregnancy and delivery and the other had a great pregnancy and delivery.  I know she was joking but she told me that I am going to be like that woman who had the perfect pregnancy and she is going to be mad because she is so sick.   I sort of laughed and then said "well if I am lucky enough to have a great pregnancy and delivery with no sickness then I deserve every bit of it,  no offense but I will trade you three months of sickness and a $20 movie night and action after with your hubby to get your baby rather than months of trying with rejection, lots of doctors offices, shots,  taking all the romance out of it and more money than I would like to admit we have spent to get mine"  It wasn't the nicest thing for me to say, but it's how I felt at the time. 

I have another friend who understands what we are going through,  her and her husband had to do IVF and were successful and are expecting a little boy in October.   She was at our house two weekends ago and we were talking about how many pregnancy tests we have taken and just seen rejection after rejection,   she said she is tempted to go pee on a stick now just to see it show a positive.   We laughed and then were talking about how from the time of your transfer to getting your blood test marks that give a good indication that we had heard that you can actually take a pregnancy test around day 6, 7 and find out.   She didn't do it and I won't either because neither of us have ever had a good outcome of a pregnancy test and so to take one is a completely negative thing to us,  something we dread, not look forward to.   So she stuck it out the 10 or so days until the doctor's office confirmed it and I will too!

So as you can see my mood swings go up and down,  I blame the hormones. I am feeling scared but good about it,  we are going to the temple this weekend for our friend's sealing and plan to do a session beforehand to spend some time together praying for us and our families.

In other Stewart news,  not much is going on.  Ryan is back to studying all the time so after dinner we don't see each other much on the weekdays.  :(

I got this lovely sunburn because I am a idiot and forget I am a vampire allergic to the sun and burn easily...

And our house is filled with Olympic fever,   it's pretty much on 24-7 right now.   I LOVE the Olympics,  especially the swimming since I swam competitively for years.  I'm so excited for Missy Franklin, to be 17 and be so good and to pass up endorsements because she wants to swim for a college is amazing.  I'm on Team Lochte,  his name is Ryan Steven just like my babe's and he is hot just like my babe so what is not to like :)

Oh and I am still praying for twins and Ryan is still not...