Raspberries..

We are 8 weeks today, and the babies are the size of raspberries, we went to my OB Dr. Martin for our first appointment today. I'm not released from Dr. Shapiro yet but because we were having twins and didn't want a gap at all we called up and Dr Martin wanted to see us. I love him! I have been going to him for 10+ years and he is so happy for us! He measured both babies and said everything looks great!

I thought once I was done with the Fertility Center that I would be a normal pregnant woman going once a month...ummm nope. Dr. Martin said since I am having twins, we had to do IVF and they are my first I am automatically high risk and we need to go to a high risk Dr. also. He said the longest I will go between doctors appointments is 2-3 weeks. One good thing is I will get a ultrasound every month at the high risk Dr. so we will get to see the babies a lot!! Our first appointment with them will be wen I 12 weeks maybe we will get a gender sneak peak :)

I also talked to Dr. Martin today about a vaginal birth. I really want one if I can. He gave me some rules to even consider. 1. I have to have a epidural in case they have to do a emergency c-section (no complaints here!) 2. I have to deliver in the OR not in my room in case of a c-section 3. I have to deliver at Summerlin because of the NiCu and because they have a doctor on call 24-7 who would be able to help him monitor the 2nd baby while I'm in labor. He did say with my stature if any baby is breech deal is off and I go to automatic c-section. Only time will tell that, but I'm hoping for vaginal.

Also, I am sooo sick. The babies are killing me. I threw up so hard I threw out a muscle in my back so sharp shooting pains coarsing down my back while I throw up. So horrible. I finally was able to get zofran after my last ultrasound where they saw the heartbeats. It's helping but not taking it all away. I'm also wearing the sea bands (thanks Kristen!). Lets hope when I am off all my meds and out of 1st trimester the sickness is over!

Overall we are just so happy and so blessed. We are almost to the safe zone, and everytime I get to see the babies and see them growing it becomes more real. Since I will only be able to go to 36-37 weeks we only really have 6- 6-1/2 months!

Time is going to fly by and then the real craziness will begin, but I don't care because I will finally be a mommy. :)

Photo Bomb..

I feel like all I have posted about is the babies.. and while that is a big chunk of our life right now we have done other things I haven't given any attention to.

 

So this post is a photo bomb of the last month or two NON baby related!

 

Labor Day Weekend - Parowan 2012

 

Ryan and I were able to go up to Parowan with my parents over Labor Day weekend this year.   Josh had to work and Matt decided to stay back with Josh, so we left the dogs with the boys and headed up to St. George.  

 

We were able to go out to dinner with my parents at Outback (PS the Outback in St. George. best.outback.ever ask for the rasberry butter with your bread ahhhmazing) before Ryan and I headed off to go to Aladdin at Tuachan.  I didn't bring a camera so sorry no pictures, but it was good.  No Abu the monkey which made me sad but monkey's don't talk to I guess I get it.

 

Saturday morning we packed up and headed to Parowan,  the boy's went for a ride (dang pregnancy wouldn't let me),  my cousin's fished in the pond down the street,  and we went to the annual pancake breakfast and parade.   I love this weekend.  I love Parowan.  My parents actually have a lot right around the corner from my aunt.  My dad is making rumblings of starting to do something to it so we might be able to go up more :)

 

Here's a few pics from the weekend

 

 

Other happenings:

 

My parents bought Ryan and I tickets to Wicked at the Smith Center here in Vegas for our anniversary.   We went with them on September 13th.   The Smith Center was beautiful and the play was AWESOME.  I loved it.  I didn't love getting sick the last hour and puking in my front yard when I got home but I loved the play.   My parents are such amazing thoughtful people and I am glad we were able to experience this with them.

 

My pictures are NOT good.  We had the picture nazi behind us who would not let us take pictures inside the theater.  Meanwhile 5 rows down people were taking picture after picture and she didn't say anything.  How rude :)

 

 

 

Random pictures:

 

Zoey drooling and panting like crazy on a drive to Petco in a COOL AIRCONDITIONED car.  She is a nut

 

 

A picture of my friend Nycole on a tour we took where we had to wear hard hats.

 

 

A Pzookie from Josh's birthday dinner with the family at BJ's.  I love the Pzookies there!

 

And okay one thing baby.  I bought them their first matching jammies!  (it's gender neutral people so no matter what sex they can wear)

I also got a new church calling,  I was called to be the Beehive Advisor.  I am VERY excited about this calling.  So excited that I stayed up to make them cookies (which I made fit into the lesson) so they will like me,  even though cooking anything makes me sick right now.   I was NOT good in Young Womens,  I was not nice to my Beehive Advisor.  In my defense she was not cool and really mean and snotty,  but I was a brat.  I am hoping to bring some of my own situations into the class to help them not make the same mistakes I made.   I am not going to say I would do it differently because then I wouldn't be who I am and be married to the amazing man I am married to. But I do hope to help the girls not struggle like I did.



And I think it was worth it.  The lesson went great,  I even cried and they said my cookies were delicious :) 

 

 



GroWinG

The blueberries (that's their size right now, so that's what we call them) are growing!

Saw heartbeat flickers today. :)

Feels SO AMAZING!!!!

What's up in Stewart land :)

 

Ryan and I were able to go on Saturday night to a ward activity/date night at our chapel.   Our Stake Presidency and Bishopric have been putting alot of focus on marriage and how to keep work to keep the marriage and the family units strong.  I have a feeling this is a topic all around the church these days.  With technology like texting and social networking I am sure alot of marriages end up suffering a little.

 

I loved everything about this date night,  Ryan and I are lucky we have been able to have three years of dating (well almost 4 by the time the babies come) We are really good about spending quality time together.   I imagine once children come into play that will get more difficult but we both are committed to not letting it disappear.  The date night consisted of dinner Olive Garden themed,  games and dancing.   We also had Bishop Williams and his wife come and speak to us,   I LOVED their talks.   They were very open and honest about their early marriage struggles when they had 3 babies under 5 after only dating for 3 months before getting married and only 2 months after marriage finding out they were expecting.  Alot of times I think the topic of sex is so taboo and uncomfortable in the church and they didn't let it be,  they brought it front and center.   Bishop stated the act in a marriage is called intimacy to him, not sex and that is how he counsels couples to think of it.  

 

He counseled us to read a book called Between a Husband and Wife  which can be found here.  I will be purchasing this book for Ryan and I to read together,  not because we have problems but because I don't ever want us to in this area.   

 

His wife spoke about their Bishop when they were a young couple with three young children,   her husband was in law school and they were going through the daily motions.   She was sneaking into bed at night after everyone was alseep just because she was tired of being touched all day by babies and didn't want to be touched at night.   Their Bishop counseled them to have date night weekly,  to communicate and to listen to each other's needs. Because each person in a marriage has different needs.   She made a comment that if her husband comes home and does the dishes that shows her his love for her. 

 

Bishop Williams emphasized that the church will not come in to your bedroom,  what each couple does and how different it varies is their choice but to also remember it is intimacy, not just sex and to treat it and your partner with respect.

 

I liked this part of the talk they gave us from Jeffrey R. Holland,  who was speaking at a BYU devotional about intimacy and marriage.

 

"But such a total, virtually unbreakable union, such an unyielding commitment between a man and a woman, can only come with the proximity and permanence afforded in a marriage covenant, with the union of all that they possess--their very hearts and minds, all their days and all their dreams. They work together, they cry together, they enjoy Brahms and Beethoven and breakfast together, they sacrifice and save and live together for all the abundance that such a totally intimate life provides such a couple. And the external symbol of that union, the physical manifestation of what is a far deeper spiritual and metaphysical bonding, is the physical blending that is part of--indeed, a most beautiful and gratifying expression of--that larger, more complete union of eternal purpose and promise.

As delicate as it is to mention in such a setting, I nevertheless trust your maturity to understand that physiologically we are created as men and women to fit together in such a union. In this ultimate physical expression of one man and one woman they are as nearly and as literally "one" as two separate physical bodies can ever be. It is in that act of ultimate physical intimacy we most nearly fulfill the commandment of the Lord given to Adam and Eve, living symbols for all married couples, when he invited them to cleave unto one another only, and thus become "one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).

Obviously, such a commandment to these two, the first husband and wife of the human family, has unlimited implications--social, cultural, and religious as well as physical--but that is exactly my point. As all couples come to that moment of bonding in mortality, it is to be just such a complete union. That commandment cannot be fulfilled, and that symbolism of "one flesh" cannot be preserved, if we hastily and guiltily and surreptitiously share intimacy in a darkened corner of a darkened hour, then just as hastily and guiltily and surreptitiously retreat to our separate worlds--not to eat or live or cry or laugh together, not to do the laundry and the dishes and the homework, not to manage a budget and pay the bills and tend the children and plan together for the future. No, we cannot do that until we are truly one--united, bound, linked, tied, welded, sealed, married."

 

They also gave us a picture frame and a sharpie to write love notes to each other. 

 

I am so glad Ryan and I made the time to enjoy this night.  I came away feeling very enlightened and loved.

 

 

In other new's if you didn't catch my hint above mentioning the babies,   well it means exactly what it looks like.  We are having TWO babies!

 

We are so excited (okay and a little scared too) and I know baby B doesn't look like its all there.   The picture she gave us was not the best.  It's there we saw it!

 

And I'm a little annoyed because the stroller/carseat combo from Britax I loved when thinking of one baby, the double stroller of the same model only allows for ONE infant seat.  So annoying,  why make a double stroller that can't be used by twins as babies?  So I am looking again.  I am kind of a stroller and car seat snob so there is a few brands I won't even look at.  I can't do color's,  I want blacks not pinks or greens or browns.  My cars are black and I want black car seats.

 

So we are making lists now of everything double we need for big ticket items since those are not what you get at a shower and we need to start buying one thing a month.  Two cribs.  Two of everything.  :)

 

But this is it I think.  Unless by some miracle it happens naturally we are going to be a happy little family of four!

 

And I made Ryan promise me we will go on one vacation in a PLANE before the babies turn 2 and we have to buy 4 tickets.  I dont really care where we go I just want one big vacation where we don't have to jump from buying 2 to 4 seats :)



Worrying

The day we hit the safe zone will be the day I really start enjoying this pregnancy I think.  Throughout this whole process I have worried every step. Will we get enough eggs? Will they fertilize? Will they make it to blastocyst?  Will we have enough to freeze any leftover?  Will the shots hurt?  Will the medicine work?  Will the transfer go smooth?  Will it work?

 

Well now that it has worked my list of questions has not gone away.

 

This weekend when we were out of town, Saturday morning I woke up to some spotting.  I ran into the room and said a little panicky to Ryan "Ryan there is BLOOD"  Ryan (who is the calmness to my craziness I think I have mentioned)  very quietly started asking me questions. 

 

Ryan:  Is it alot?

Me:  No

Ryan: Was there anything else you saw?

Me: No

Ryan: More gross question's that you don't want to know

Me: More gross answer's you dont want to hear

Finally...

Me: But Ryan there is Blood!

Ryan:  I know babe but that doesn't mean that anything is wrong.  Let's call the doctor before we freak out okay?

Me: (crying)  Okay..

 

After looking up on every fertility forum I could find and calling the on call nurse and talking to her about how this is the most common phone call they receive, and her telling me approximately 40% of people who do IVF will have spotting.  Even her who has done IVF had spotting and freaked out,  did I feel somewhat better.   She hung up with continue your medicine,  come in on Tuesday for blood work and if it doesn't go away or get worse to call back.  

 

Thankfully it went away,  but I am not going to lie I probably went pee more that weekend than I ever have just to see if I was still spotting.  It sort of put me on edge all weekend.

 

Then I went to the doctor's yesterday to give blood and normally they call you that afternoon to let you know how everything turned out,  well now that the doctor's office did their job and got me pregnant they have to send it out to LabCorp per my insurance.  It just makes me so mad.  I am still in your care.  I have paid you so much money I can't sleep at night sometimes and since I am officially pregnant and no longer 'in cycle' if I have your lab do it instead of Labcorp it will be $422 dollars.  RIDICULOUS!  Also next week when we go to find out if we are having one or two,  yeah that's going to cost us $483.  Such a rip off, but Ryan and I just take a deep breath and are happy for the success we have had and say we are never going through this again.

 

We really are so thankful and over the moon,  we don't care boy or girl and Ryan is even now saying if it is twins we will make it work :)  We just wish they would leave us some money to actually have the kid and pay for diapers lol 

Update

To all 5 of you who read my blog I thought since I have updated on every stage of our IVF I should get to the results quickly. Soooo.....Ryan and I found out we are going to be parents!!!

Here's how it went down:

On Monday the 20th we did the transfer, the next 3 1/2 days I did bed rest and any other trick I read about or had friends tell me about like, keeping your feet warm and drinking hot liquids. The Dr. told us I would be coming in on Saturday the 25th for bloodwork and there is a chance you will be able to out then but most of the time it's too soon. So Saturday came and Ryan left at 6:00am for a early tee time to golf. I couldn't sleep so I got up and went to get my blood drawn. I came home and normally they call around 1-2pm with medicine instructions so I started cleaning and doing laundry, around 10am I heard the phone ring I looked and it was the Dr.'s office I picked it up and it wasn't the nurse it was my Dr. He said "Congratulations" and I burst into tears lol. Ryan was golfing and I wanted to scream it to the world but it was so soon so I text Ryan and then just had to wait for him to come home to celebrate. We decided not to tell anyone until we got to day 10 in case something changed.

We ended up telling our parents at Sunday dinner that things were looking good but that nothing official until the 30th. I went in on the 30th for blood again and once again the Dr. called and said I am still pregnant!! (I maybe have taken a test or 5 to check everyday lol)

I feel fine, just hungry right now. I'm almost hoping I get morning sickness so I can loose a few pounds I have gained through this IVF process.

We go back in a week for blood again my beta numbers are on the higher side so there is a chance both took and we have twins on our hands. We have our first ultrasound in 2 weeks to find out.

Thank you all for the love, support and prayers! We couldn't have done this without our family and friends. This has been such a long expensive draining process that we will probably not go through again so to have it work means so much to us.

Please refrain from Facebook comments of any kind, it will not go public until we are in the clear and have been released from the Fertility Center!