Worrying

The day we hit the safe zone will be the day I really start enjoying this pregnancy I think.  Throughout this whole process I have worried every step. Will we get enough eggs? Will they fertilize? Will they make it to blastocyst?  Will we have enough to freeze any leftover?  Will the shots hurt?  Will the medicine work?  Will the transfer go smooth?  Will it work?

 

Well now that it has worked my list of questions has not gone away.

 

This weekend when we were out of town, Saturday morning I woke up to some spotting.  I ran into the room and said a little panicky to Ryan "Ryan there is BLOOD"  Ryan (who is the calmness to my craziness I think I have mentioned)  very quietly started asking me questions. 

 

Ryan:  Is it alot?

Me:  No

Ryan: Was there anything else you saw?

Me: No

Ryan: More gross question's that you don't want to know

Me: More gross answer's you dont want to hear

Finally...

Me: But Ryan there is Blood!

Ryan:  I know babe but that doesn't mean that anything is wrong.  Let's call the doctor before we freak out okay?

Me: (crying)  Okay..

 

After looking up on every fertility forum I could find and calling the on call nurse and talking to her about how this is the most common phone call they receive, and her telling me approximately 40% of people who do IVF will have spotting.  Even her who has done IVF had spotting and freaked out,  did I feel somewhat better.   She hung up with continue your medicine,  come in on Tuesday for blood work and if it doesn't go away or get worse to call back.  

 

Thankfully it went away,  but I am not going to lie I probably went pee more that weekend than I ever have just to see if I was still spotting.  It sort of put me on edge all weekend.

 

Then I went to the doctor's yesterday to give blood and normally they call you that afternoon to let you know how everything turned out,  well now that the doctor's office did their job and got me pregnant they have to send it out to LabCorp per my insurance.  It just makes me so mad.  I am still in your care.  I have paid you so much money I can't sleep at night sometimes and since I am officially pregnant and no longer 'in cycle' if I have your lab do it instead of Labcorp it will be $422 dollars.  RIDICULOUS!  Also next week when we go to find out if we are having one or two,  yeah that's going to cost us $483.  Such a rip off, but Ryan and I just take a deep breath and are happy for the success we have had and say we are never going through this again.

 

We really are so thankful and over the moon,  we don't care boy or girl and Ryan is even now saying if it is twins we will make it work :)  We just wish they would leave us some money to actually have the kid and pay for diapers lol