Oh the difference a year makes!

Last year on August 20, 2012 I remember feeling nauseous and scared.  Our transfer was set to happen at 3:00pm in the afternoon.  I went to work that morning and then left to go home at lunch just to try to pass the day.  Every shot, both retrievals and the waiting game to see if our embryo's would develop led up to that day.   The night before our doctor had called and said we still had 4 viable embryo's and they were preparing the two best looking for the transfer and we were a go.  I don't think I slept well that night because of the nerves.

 

We got to the clinic and you could tell it was "transfer day" by all the other couple in the waiting room with a look of panic and nervousness on their faces.   Ryan and I sat there and held hands and waited for our name to be called.   Once we got back all I could concentrate on was the fact I really needed to pee (they make you have your bladder full for transfer)  I was so afraid I was going to pee on the doctor lol.  The whole transfer took 15 minutes and then I was sent home to rest for 4 days. 

 

Those 4 days were the longest and most boring of my life.  I was stuck on the couch and in bed just watching TV, reading books and praying I was carrying a baby now in my belly.  Our doctor warned us that day 5 results are rare and that most find out day 10.  So what a shock when on the morning of Day 5 while I am vacuuming and Ryan was out golfing we got the call of our lives!  We were going to be parents!

 

Two weeks later we found out we were expecting twins.  Shock was putting it mildly!  We were so excited,  only to learn a short 4 weeks later that one of our babies had stopped growing.

 

It is so crazy to me how I remember every little detail about those days. It seems like just yesterday and yet also a lifetime ago.

 

Today we are the proud parents of a happy, healthy almost 4 month old little boy.  I cannot imagine my life without him.

 

August 20th will always be a day I will remember because it is the day that made me a mom to my little man.  I thank Heavenly Father every day for Holden and for the chance to be his mom.  We hope someday to be able to add a sibling to our family and hope we are able to do it naturally. I would actually LOVE to be completely shocked and surprised, to not even be trying and get pregnant because everything with IVF is so planned. But if not I am prepared to go through it all again just to have one more August 20th day :)