May DoNe...CheCK!

I'm calling a wrap on May...and we survived!   We celebrated by doing nothing but relax this weekend, we saw the Avenger's, went and did a little school shopping for Ryan, watched the fight and some basketball.  I loved it!

The shots are done and over for now,   we did our egg retrieval last week and now they are freezing until we implant them.  We were looking at end of June, but I can't take off work that week and I need to be on bed rest for 72 hours so I would have to take off 3-4 days.  So we are looking at whatever transfer dates they decide in July.  As much as I am so ready for the next step it might be nice to give my backside a break all of June before I have to start the next set of shots before transfer.  Plus prepare my body for twins.   I always joke with Ryan that my patriarchal blessing states I will be blessed with children on high,   since it looks like this may be the only way we are able to have children and we cannot afford to do this yearly,  I'm taking that to mean maybe they are coming two at a time ;)

At least now I now the worst of it, the shots and retrival and I handled both pretty well.  We are hoping we have enough eggs for two children,  one now and one around the time Ryan graduates,  but if not and we have to do this whole process again I will be okay with that.  It's not fun but its not as horrible as I thought. 

Thank's to everyone who has kept us in there prayer's. We are so lucky to have so much support. I have definitely felt the love and calming affect it has had on me, and couldn't get through this without it.  I do not know why we have this trial in life,  but I do know there has been alot of good to come out of this. 

Lunar Eclipse

Because this hasn't happened in the United States for the last 18 years, and probably will not happen again for another 18 years here is my proof of the lunar eclipse.

We did not have a welder's mask, or glasses from the planetarium.  We tried the pin hole and it worked but it was anticlimactic.  So I reverted to taking pictures with my phone without actually looking at the sun for any direct length of time.

I took this one on our way home from my mom's in the car.   I caught the tail end of the eclipse,  the shadow on the left is pretty cool I think.

Don't you worry eclipse, I have a little time so next time you come I'll be prepared!



So close!

We are so close to retrieval, it got pushed back a day because my little follicles weren't ready so we are looking at Monday most likely,  which is good because I am tired of the whole process.  Tired of talking about it, blogging about it and living it.   I feel so whiny and so I probably talk and sound whiny,  which isn't attractive to anyone.   That's why I am hibernating and being anti-social this week.  No one wants to be around me,  probably not even Ryan lol.  

It's funny,  I was so scared of the needle and focused so much on it that now that doesn't even bother me (well as long as I have the numbing cream)  it's the after that is horrible.  I just ache all the time,  which I just have to keep telling myself that's a good sign.  It's working and everything looks great so suck it up Amanda.  

  I was talking to my mom the other day and mentioning how I could see how this whole process could be trying on a marriage.   It's taxing on you,   it literally has consumed our life these last two weeks.   We talk about going to dinner and then we think,  okay well we need to be home by this time so we can do this and get your shot done by this time. After my shot I'm useless.  I'm tired I go to sleep like 9pm.  Then throw in what seems like daily doctor's appointments and there really isn't time for much else.

I am so so lucky that I have Ryan as my partner,  he is amazing.   He has cooked me dinner almost every night the last 2 weeks,   he plays Dr. and nurse mixing all the meds and giving me my shots, and then he rubs my back afterward to try to help with the aching.  He let's me cry when I start to freak out about doing all this and it still not working.  He goes and sleeps in the front room instead of waking me up if I am tossing and turning because I can't get comfortable.   He really is the best.   I am not glad that we have had to resort to all of this to be able to have a baby, but I am so glad that we have faced numerous things in our first two years of marriage that could have really put a strain on us as a couple and it has done the exact opposite.  I am more in love with him now than I was the day I married him.

Here is a few pics for documenting sake.   I will make our future child read this year of blogs in high school when they are driving me nuts.  So I need to have pictures also :)

Ryan missing my meds,  and yes that needle is big!

And just because she is cute my Mags and yes she is wearing a shirt :)

Day 6

Tonight is my 6th shot,   this night is special though I get to add another shot into the mix in my stomach!  So excited..NOT!

The shots are going okay, the numbing cream is great I can't feel the needle at all.  We have a system where Ryan tests to find "the spot" each night and so far so good.   The problem is the minute he injects the medicine the cramping/stinging/burning begins.   Every night it has gotten worse,  it's normal they say but it sucks.   Ryan rubs it for a few minutes and then I put a heating pad on for a while and that seems to help but its getting uncomfortable to sit at my desk for long periods and sleeping at night is not fun.  Last night I tossed and turned until 1am,  I finally gave up and went into the front room and passed out.

I am hoping we only have 5 more nights of this routine to go and on Friday I will take the HCG shot which will get the follicles ready for retrieval,   then Saturday we will have a break and Sunday will be retrevial day.

Friday night we are going to the temple,  I am so glad I need to feel the calming spirit that envelopes me in the temple to prepare myself.   We feel good about it so far,   everything in my blood draws are looking the way the doctor wants so if you have a minute this weekend say a little prayer for us.   The Dalton's sure could use some good news!

Other than that we have had a few other things going on,  we had the missionaries over for dinner on Friday night. We bought pizza,  I was in no mood to cook and all men love pizza so it was a win win.   We had a good time,  they were funny and I as much as I make fun of him I love when Ryan get's to relive his glory days by trading missionary stories with others.

Ryan is officially done with his Bachelor's at UNLV.   He would not walk because he has 3 more years of school to go but I threw him a little Happy Graduation BBQ  on Saturday anyways.   It was very small just our parents and a our close friends Jason and Amber, and Jacob and Rachel.  It was fun I always enjoy our BBQ's and hope that everyone else does too. Jacob and Rachel's two older boys are so much fun.  I gave them way to much sugar and then sent them home with their parents :)

So Ryan has 2 months of no school, just working.   He will still work every Mon, Wed, Fri until June 22nd when we travel to AZ for my brother's graduation from Pharmacy school.  Then Ryan will have the whole week of June 25th off to take care of me since I have to be on bed rest and then he will start back to school full time on July 5th.  

I have a few projects in store for him while he is home... like re-caulking the bathroom...he is thrilled. :)

I hope everyone had a great Mother's Day.  

 I am so blessed to have such amazing women surround me. 

First, my Grandma's Bonnie and Claire showed me how to be a better wife and mom.

My Grandma and Grandpa Dalton have been married for over 60 years and embody what a loving marriage is. My Grandma Claire shows me that I can have a career and still have a loving relationship with my spouse.

My Grandma Bonnie, oh how I wish she was still alive to meet Ryan,  she showed me how to love with all my heart.   She was the most amazing grandma who I was lucky enough to be able to see every month for most of my life.  I know how proud she would be of me and that she is watching out for us.  (Give me a little girl Grandma and I'll name her after you :)) 

 I am blessed with Renae, who is so great,  I couldn't ask for a better Mother in Law. I love that we live in Vegas with them and are able to see them often,  I have become so much closer to her over the last year. She raised her boys to be responsible and respectful and to do the dishes!  I thank her and love her for it.

And finally,  I am blessed to have my mom, my friend, my everything.  She is the most selfless loving person I know.  She has had a rough year,  and yet she still worries about my dad, brothers and myself more than she worries about herself.  She is so beautiful and funny and I am so proud that she is mine. It's because of her that I am so strong and able to not get discouraged.  She taught me to be independent and stand up for myself,  and she also let me know every day that I was getting out of her car to go to school "that I was her greatest treasure".  I love her with all my heart...



EMLA = AmazinG!

Let me just say if you ever have to take shots for consecutive days/nights like I am going to, get yourself from EMLA (Lidocain) cream....It's amazing. 

Now I'm not going to say there were no hysterics,  Ryan put the cream on,  covered it with the bandage and we proceeded to eat the dinner my hunny made and watch Duck Dynasty (sorry I'm obsessed I love those rednecks) I kept poking it and thinking "this is not working" and growing sicker by the minute.   I told myself I wanted the shot over by 8pm so we could enjoy our night and not have me freaking out.  7:55pm came and Ryan went to the closet to get the med's to mix and I started hyperventilating.  It wasn't pretty.  He then took the bandage off and I just remember crying  "I don't think it worked" over and over! So my bright idea was to test it,  we first tried the end of a pen and there were a few times he poked where I could feel it and a few I couldn't, so he drew a little circle around the numb area and  I thought I would be okay.  Then we got in the bedroom and I saw the needle.   It's big and I started crying again so we decided to one up and prick it with a safety pin to test it again,  he poked the area a few times and I told him I couldn't feel it.   I got in the position and told him to tell me when he was doing it.   He didn't say anything and so I asked him "Are you doing it yet?",  to which he replied..."I'm done"!!

I DIDN'T FEEL A THING!! 

By the way, I looked at the time when it was over and it was 8:30pm so my hysterics lasted 30 minutes lol.  Ryan lied and said I did awesome and then we went out and watched Survivor together while we both rewarded ourselves with dessert.

I bruise easily so I am a little sore today but since we switch sides nightly I think it will be fine.

One day down only 4 more months to go...



Mobile Drop

15 days of medicine people....yup only 15 days.  it's not going to be pretty...

that's how i feel about the medicine

My friend Nycole is obsessed with Converse for her 3.5 year old...I had to send to Ryan who is equally obsessed with shoes.

My bridesmaid gift from Jaime,  I put my wedding rings in every night.

These candies rock...

Summertime means frozen yogurt...I love frozen yogurt...

Was having a good hair day.  I'm kinda over my long hair and when these extensions are getting nasty that will be the end,  then after that it's all natural for me

Broke my favorite sunglasses,  circa 2009 Dior and they don't make them anymore.   So I begged the girls at the eye center at Walmart to rig them back together.

Did SOOOO much yard work a few weekends ago and Ry needed help,  he bought me my own gloves and everything.  I felt so official.  I think he is hoping I actually use them a 2nd time.

My baby girl swimming.   I am so worried about her this summer,  her hips are not good but she loves it so much and I can't take it away from her.

I love this man with everything I am.   He was intently studying his map and I looked up and thought how lucky I am.  He carried that backpack throughout our whole trip so I could store my camera,  gifts and other junk.  He is the best and I am so lucky to have him.

The countdown begins...

We had our injection lesson's today, I didn't faint but I did cry...I wish I wasn't so scared of needles.  Everyone says it's not going to hurt but I saw the needle today and it's big and my eyes started tearing up pretty quickly.  I guess I should be glad we got a lesson,  our friend said they got a DVD to watch and their meds.  The woman was very nice she went step by step through each medicine,  how to mix and how to inject.   They are actually going to let us mix the two medicines into one so I only have to take 1 shot a day for 12 days and then a 2nd much smaller needle one for the last few days before the retrieval.  The small one doesn't scare me as much it's the big one that freaks me out.

Ryan was awesome and held my shaky hand and listened to what the nurse said,  because honestly I didn't hear half of it, as she was pulling out all the medicine and the needles my mind went into panic mode.  She made me get up and bend over to show Ryan how he needs to administer the shot and once again the tears started coming.  I tried to hold it together but I think she definitely got my fear of it because on the way out she asked my IVF coordinator to order me EMLA which is a numbing cream for this set not just for the next set I have to take. :P So I will go pick that cream up before we begin the injections in a few days and hopefully that will help.

I just keep telling myself the end is worth it...to have a healthy baby I will do anything they want me to.  I might cry alot, but I will do it.

I was reading over a few of the talks from Conference the other night and came across the talk by President Eyring entitled Mountain's to Climb,  he is a beautiful speaker and just a humble man.  His sincere words helped me out that night when I was having my Why me, Why us night. 

I especially liked this part of the talk

When hard trials come, the faith to endure them well will be there, built as you may now notice but may have not at the time that you acted on the pure love of Christ, serving and forgiving others as the Savior would have done. You built a foundation of faith from loving as the Savior loved and serving for Him. Your faith in Him led to acts of charity that will bring you hope.

It is never too late to strengthen the foundation of faith. There is always time. With faith in the Savior, you can repent and plead for forgiveness. There is someone you can forgive. There is someone you can thank. There is someone you can serve and lift. You can do it wherever you are and however alone and deserted you may feel.

I cannot promise an end to your adversity in this life. I cannot assure you that your trials will seem to you to be only for a moment. One of the characteristics of trials in life is that they seem to make clocks slow down and then appear almost to stop.

There are reasons for that. Knowing those reasons may not give much comfort, but it can give you a feeling of patience. Those reasons come from this one fact: in Their perfect love for you, Heavenly Father and the Savior want you fitted to be with Them to live in families forever. Only those washed perfectly clean through the Atonement of Jesus Christ can be there.

I will climb this mountain, and conquer this fear and have faith that the reward awaiting me on the other side will be a beautiful healthy baby...