We had our injection lesson's today, I didn't faint but I did cry...I wish I wasn't so scared of needles. Everyone says it's not going to hurt but I saw the needle today and it's big and my eyes started tearing up pretty quickly. I guess I should be glad we got a lesson, our friend said they got a DVD to watch and their meds. The woman was very nice she went step by step through each medicine, how to mix and how to inject. They are actually going to let us mix the two medicines into one so I only have to take 1 shot a day for 12 days and then a 2nd much smaller needle one for the last few days before the retrieval. The small one doesn't scare me as much it's the big one that freaks me out.
Ryan was awesome and held my shaky hand and listened to what the nurse said, because honestly I didn't hear half of it, as she was pulling out all the medicine and the needles my mind went into panic mode. She made me get up and bend over to show Ryan how he needs to administer the shot and once again the tears started coming. I tried to hold it together but I think she definitely got my fear of it because on the way out she asked my IVF coordinator to order me EMLA which is a numbing cream for this set not just for the next set I have to take. :P So I will go pick that cream up before we begin the injections in a few days and hopefully that will help.
I just keep telling myself the end is worth it...to have a healthy baby I will do anything they want me to. I might cry alot, but I will do it.
I was reading over a few of the talks from Conference the other night and came across the talk by President Eyring entitled Mountain's to Climb, he is a beautiful speaker and just a humble man. His sincere words helped me out that night when I was having my Why me, Why us night.
I especially liked this part of the talk
When hard trials come, the faith to endure them well will be there, built as you may now notice but may have not at the time that you acted on the pure love of Christ, serving and forgiving others as the Savior would have done. You built a foundation of faith from loving as the Savior loved and serving for Him. Your faith in Him led to acts of charity that will bring you hope.
It is never too late to strengthen the foundation of faith. There is always time. With faith in the Savior, you can repent and plead for forgiveness. There is someone you can forgive. There is someone you can thank. There is someone you can serve and lift. You can do it wherever you are and however alone and deserted you may feel.
I cannot promise an end to your adversity in this life. I cannot assure you that your trials will seem to you to be only for a moment. One of the characteristics of trials in life is that they seem to make clocks slow down and then appear almost to stop.
There are reasons for that. Knowing those reasons may not give much comfort, but it can give you a feeling of patience. Those reasons come from this one fact: in Their perfect love for you, Heavenly Father and the Savior want you fitted to be with Them to live in families forever. Only those washed perfectly clean through the Atonement of Jesus Christ can be there.
I will climb this mountain, and conquer this fear and have faith that the reward awaiting me on the other side will be a beautiful healthy baby...
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