If we had to lose one of our babies I am thankful it happened right before General Conference. Listening to the speakers feeling like they were speaking directly to me, helped me so much. I sat this weekend and cuddled with my husband and my dogs and laughed and cried and just soaked in the words and the meaning of what happened.
Today we had our first doctor's appointment since finding out, we are 10 weeks today, I will admit I have been nervous all weekend. In all the other ultrasounds I have had I have never felt nerves, just excitement, but this time I just kept feeling nervous that I am going to go in and hear that something else is wrong. I haven't been sleeping great and have been dreading it a little. I decided yesterday that I should call my OB's office and give them a heads up about baby B in case that changed the scope of my appointment at all. Last night at around 5:30 my OB called me while I was on my way home, he expressed sadness and talked to me with comforting words. It was exactly what I needed to hear.
Sometimes in Vegas I worry about the type of medical care we receive here but I have nothing but good things to say about my doctors. My fertility doctor Dr. Shapiro has been amazing, I know he cares about me and my baby. My OB Dr. Martin I LOVE him, I have been with him for 10years or more I trust him 100%, he is a great man and I know he has me and my baby's best interest in any decision he makes.
Anyways back to my appointment. Dr. Martin immediately wanted to do a ultrasound, he wanted to see for himself and he wanted to make sure the baby was okay. It's hard because baby B is still there, just very tiny and with no heartbeat so once again I was looking at my baby who didn't make it, Ryan was able to come today and see and I think he understood some of what I felt last week. It's hard to see. But then I have to be grateful because he went over to baby A and it has doubled in size, he showed us the heartbeat and the arms and the legs and everything looks great. It was such a relief. I think I really did exhale really big. I am still considered high risk because of everything that has happened so I will be seeing Dr. Shapiro, Dr. Martin and Dr. Iryie all for the next few weeks. And then once I am cleared from Dr. Shapiro I will still be seeing both doctor's until Dr. Martin decides I am not high risk and don't need to see Dr. Iryie anymore. I will have to go to the doctor's once a week at least. It's alot but if it mean's getting our little bean here safely I am on board.
I want to thank all our family and friend's who have sent comforting messages, texts or phone calls. I want to thank my parents for getting me out of the house on Saturday night to laugh and eat frozen custard. I want to thank Whitney Walker for bringing over dessert and just stopping in to see how I was doing. They all mean so much to me and Ryan.
And I promise I will not blog weekly about my pregnancy the whole time, once we reach the safe zone and I get to be a normal pregnant woman I will be back to blogging about our lives :)
2 weeks to go! :)
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